"The Abuser is Often Fearful to Seek Help."
Wayne Bowers, a former sex offender, is director of Sex Offenders Restored through Treatment (SORT), a chapter of Citizens United for the Rehabilitation of Errants (CURE), and a program of the Sexual Abuse Treatment Alliance (SATA). Bowers was first convicted in Kansas of indecent liberties with a child in 1972 when he was 26 years old, and again in 1983. He was treated from 1983 to 1995, undergoing therapy at the Johns Hopkins Sexual Disorders Clinic, as well as receiving treatment in the Kansas prison system and follow-up counseling at the National Institute for the Study, Prevention and Treatment of Sexual Trauma. He no longer participates in a program, but considers his on-going involvement helping others seek treatment to be a successful daily maintenance program.
What was the turning point in your rehabilitation and to what do you credit your recovery?
There had been a previous prison conviction, some school suspensions in college and quite a bit of therapy, yet nothing reached the root of my issues. Change came in stages. But after the second arrest and facing another prison conviction, I knew I needed help.
When I met people in therapy and in prison who had been sexually victimized, and saw the issues with which they dealt, I finally began to realize what my actions had done to people in my life. Earlier, I'd gained a capacity to rationalize – to minimize – my sexual activities with young boys, not seeing the trauma I was causing in their lives. This realization was like a second education, and the most important one I ever got.
I first learned to think of my sexual activity in terms of addictive thinking and actions. It made sense. I also read “Out of the Shadows: Understanding Sexual Addiction,” by Patrick J. Carnes and found its description of behavior followed mine closely.
Going to Johns Hopkins in Baltimore and being evaluated at the Sexual Disorders Clinic was negotiated by my attorney as my pre-sentence investigation. That process didn’t prevent prison, as we had dreamed, but it did begin the most important learning process of my life. I felt like a 500-pound weight was taken off my back after I attended my first group and was asked personal questions about my behavior that nobody had ever asked me before.
I found others there struggling with the same issues. And I felt I could share what I had been holding onto all my life. I found I wasn’t alone, that other men have the same feelings, frustrations and actions.
What was the difference this time? Putting a face on the victim. Empathizing with these people, seeing their needs, learning to respect their rights. We were told we weren’t bad people, but were doing bad things that were hurting others – and ourselves. I met other people who had been victimized and began to empathize with their emotional pain, and related it to my actions.
The validity of relapse prevention programs for sexual offenders has been called into question. What is the ideal – and perhaps unrealized – model rehabilitation program? What works?
I can’t emphasize enough the importance of treating the person with respect, and letting him know it’s his behavior that is undesirable and must be corrected. It’s a long process to counter life-long developed behavior and thinking. People are extremely stressed when they arrive for therapy – they aren’t in a good state. My treatment included recreation, arts and crafts, and relaxation sessions to help build back the entire body and mind. One of the most beneficial programs in which I participated at Hopkins was assertiveness training classes. I worked on achieving goals for myself but also respecting others’ needs in reaching their goals. Correlating that to sexual abuse was very eye-opening. Even psychodrama sessions were included in those sessions.
These programs work better in an inpatient setting. But costs and time frame are an issue. It works best to combine individual and group therapy sessions with these relaxation activities so the person can focus on core issues, and relax and find healthier outlets. People just starting are still in denial – and that is normal, but each person moves at their own pace through the program. Working on boundaries that a person must set in life and what triggers lead them into a dangerous place must be pinpointed and strategized so they can move away from them. Newcomers benefit from those who have been in the program longer – learning to open up and trust their environment.
Did you make amends to your victims? Is that encouraged?
If a proposed arrangement had allowed me to serve local jail time with a work release element to earn money, we were prepared to include assistance to those offended. Prison time was the sentence and with the extensive payment to Johns Hopkins, it was not possible to assist anyone. However, I do consider the 20 years of advocacy since my parole and the countless people I have assisted with advice and counsel, and by directing them to therapy, as a way I have continued to make amends. I've visited the community where I lived numerous times and have always been welcomed. It's been a good example of restorative justice in practice.
Does successful rehabilitation hinge ultimately on the resolve of the sex offender, more than the method of treatment? And what must the individual realize and do, in order to change his behavior?
A person has to be ready to change, and the more positive the climate for that change, the more that person will be willing to work. Unfortunately, many people have to reach bottom first. I surely did. It would be ideal if more people could receive therapy and guidance up front, knowing this is a long-term effort. Treatment takes longer than 30 days – and it’s an ongoing effort. I’m afraid we are a long way from seeing that trend though.
What is the cost effectiveness of rehabilitation programs as opposed to civil confinement or prison? Who foots the bill for sex offenders' therapy?
There are thousands of prisoners incarcerated past their parole eligibility dates, or who find themselves with much longer sentences over the past few years. And civil commitment is the latest scheme to keep prisoners locked up – possibly forever. Many of the people caught in this trap are those with sex offenses. A person who has received therapy in a prison facility and then continues it upon release can earn a living and pay for his own therapy. If the person stays incarcerated, the state has committed him and should pay the bill. But it is outrageously expensive. Recidivism figures of sex offenders who have had therapy are extremely low compared to other types of criminal behavior. Putting those people on their own and paying their way is much more cost effective – and gets money moving in the economy.
How can therapists accurately assess the severity of a sex offender's problems or gauge the success of the treatment?
It was pretty clear in therapy sessions who was making progress and “got it” and who had work to do. Honesty, openness, and self-awareness were good indications of progress. This positive behavior usually evolved over time, but there are still times the person makes slips or wrong decisions. There’s an old saying, “You can’t con a con.” It comes in very appropriately in therapy. Those who are working to change their ways will see right through someone’s talk if they are trying to hide something.
What are the biggest social factors after being released that can hinder or threaten a sex offender's recovery?
All that I've said is based on my experiences as I returned to society before the tension of registry or residency issues. There were some complications with explaining my past in job interviews, but it wasn’t a major detriment. Today the ability to pursue work and housing is so complicated with the tracking laws. Nobody goes into society on parole with a more stacked deck than those with a sex offense. And I question whether this truly makes society safer. My thought is a person with a sex offense who is in therapy and who has a relapse plan -- and has people in his close circle of family and friends who know about his life and wish to assist him -- will be successful. But if you place variables that he can’t control, that add stress and ultimately lead to withdrawal and seclusion, he will revert back to the mindset that had been so harmful to him and dangerous for others in the first place.
What could prevent abusers from abusing in first place?
Secrecy and isolation tends to be common characteristics of those who sexually act out. Much of this secrecy comes from the shame of thinking nobody will understand them. A society more willing to discuss these differences, would give more people the confidence to open up [about their abnormal feelings and urges]. The reporting laws make it impossible for a person to come forward to discuss their issues without the threat of criminal justice.
We need to correct the behavior and give offenders the resources to correct their own behavior. The abuser is often fearful to seek help. We need to do much more with helping the person who is a potential abuser.
Much of all I've said comes down to we have a huge split in thinking in the criminal justice world and in the health and therapeutic world. We need to bring them together to work on these very difficult issues.
And my best advice to parents is: develop communication with children as early as possible so you establish a comfort zone, and children feel comfortable talking about things going on in their lives. Ask them about their day and get an idea about what they are doing when you’re not around. Make a connection so they feel they could come to you about an uncomfortable situation.
